


From Rocky Shores to the Sound of the Flute

by shatterthefragments



Series: Musician Sam [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Orchestra, Asexuality Spectrum, Bakery Benny, Demisexual Sam, M/M, Married Couple, Married Life, Music Teacher Sam, Musician Sam, Purgatorium Orchestra, Retrospective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-13 22:08:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2166945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shatterthefragments/pseuds/shatterthefragments
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam plays the flute for the Purgatorium Symphony Orchestra.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Crossing the Chasm (and other stories lost in the abyss)

**Author's Note:**

> [Mature just to be safe, but there's nothing explicit in there, although they do talk a bit about sex and it is implied/mildly explained in one or two bits.]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if there are any mistakes or if some of the words are still spliced up from when I pasted it from office.  
> If you spot any mistakes, just let me know.  
> I hope you like it :)

Benny's eyes track all the movements Sam makes.

His long fingers unclasping the metal enclosure on each side of the hard case, lifting the lid up and briefly touching the soft fabric that has dips that mould to the tube and each rod of his flute and also to the long, slim metal rod with a hole at the top which Sam had told him, numerous times, is the cleaning rod.  
  
Carefully twisting each part together, Sam connects the head and foot joints to the middle joint. Lining the embouchure hole up with his line of sight, he checks the placement of each joint, and adjusts the foot joint until he's happy with the alignment.

He starts to warm up on a regular old B flat Concert Major Scale, playing it regularly, and then switching to all whole notes, half notes, quarters, sixteenths, staccato, and legato, playing around with different articulations each time.

  
_It wasn't like Benny hadn't heard Sam play before. Sam played with the Purgatorium Symphony Orchestra, which held two tours each year and had only August and September for vacation, and frequently practised at home, never barring Benny from entering, but also not inviting him in, despite the cracked open door._

_He'd sat in on Sam's practise time on many occasions. He'd seen Sam's fingers move deftly, pushing down on the silver keys in rapid succession and also in slow, languid movements. He'd heard the transition between the initial trepidation when reading through a piece for the first time and being confident with the piece, and having every reason to be so._

_Benny usually listened to Sam practise when he came home from the bakery ._

_Sam would come home and throw together a salad or other appetizer that would stay in the fridge until dinner time. Then he would mark any theory and playing tests if he had to before he put together his flute, pull out his pieces, and play ...and Benny loved listening to him from down the hall—the solo flute with a strong sound that resonated through every part of their house._

  
_Of course Benny attended all of the orchestra's local events, but he loved hearing Sam work through new rhythms and dynamics and patterns before they were a part of the whole piece._

  
Sam rests his flute on his knee, and Benny takes the time to admire it once again.

  
_Sam's flute was a Yamaha, in pristine condition, and he took the very best care of it—oiling the keys when needed, doing a bimonthly thorough cleaning (even though he cleans it well enough after using it he doesn't really have to), ensuring all the screws are good._

_Benny remembers the day that they went out to get a new flute for Sam. His old one had suffered being dropped from a very high height , and was, for all purposes, broken, and he still had his obligations to the university's orchestra and planned to audition for the Purgatorium Symphony Orchestra – once they held them in twenty months time. (They announce when they're holding auditions two years beforehand.)_

_They went to a specialty music shop that Sam was enamoured with, and at that point, Benny was more than a little jealous that Sam seemed to be more sexually attracted to his music and a store than to him. H e expressed this that night and was corrected – Sam was demisexual, bordering on grey-asexual, where he only rarely felt sexual attraction to someone, and after some explaining, Benny understood that there wasn't a problem with him. A nd although they'd been dating on and off for five years, Sam had explained that he just didn't feel sexually attracted to him yet, and that there was a small chance that he might never be sexually attracted to him ._

_(Of course, once they decided to buy a house together about four years after that, Sam surprised him by not just being ready, but pulling him underneath of a broad expanse of **Sam** and waiting before he got a clear answer to his "Do you want this?" before ravishing him. Benny had half expected them to never have sex, and was pleasantly surprised by this new course of action. ) _

_They entered the shop, and Benny could see why Sam was charmed by it. It had a feeling of ****home** ** , with wooden walls and cozy corners, music filled bookcases and showcased instruments. There was a cat curled up on the countertop with an old cash register on it, but it peeked up at the jingling bell from the door, hopping down when she saw Sam, striding right over to him and rubbing its head against his pantleg before he picked her up with a "Hello, Sweetheart." Sam plunked himself down on a couch, motioning with his head that Benny should do the same. _

_Benny was confused by this—what kind of shop owner had a cat loose in there and a couch for customers to wait on before they came out?_

_After Sweetheart had fallen asleep on Sam, curled up once again, a tiny lady with dark blue hair and many tattoos wearing a tank top and capris emerged from a door next to the bookcase._

_Benny was taken aback. While he didn't like to think of himself as prejudiced, he had rarely ever seen someone with an... alternative appearance._

_"Hey, doll." She scratched behind Sweetheart's ears, but then reached up to ruffle Sam's hair. "Sorry to keep you waiting. You in for your flute?"_

_"Yeah, but we could visit, too." Sam was smiling at her, and Benny felt left out, but didn't say anything._

_She pulled open a drawer and revealed a Yamaha case. Sam opened it and reverently touched the shiny metal. "Thank you, May."_

_She, May, laughed and smacked Sam on his arm once he'd put the flute down. "You're the one who paid for it! And you still haven't given an official introduction between me an' your man over there. You should be ashamed! He looks like someone just kicked his kitten!"_

_Sam looked up and, sure enough, he apologized profusely to Benny, who couldn't help but to laugh at him now that he knew he wasn't being ignored._

_Once Benny was no longer in hysterics, Sam introduced them. "Benny, meet my best friend, May. May, this is my boyfriend Benny."_

_May had gone to get water, and then they just talked for a while before the suggestion that Sam and May practice the required repertoire for the P SO audition came up._

_Benny had long since decided that May was a pretty cool person, so when they suggested that he should go out and get his own shopping done and bring back dinner in an hour or so, he agreed._

_When he came back with pizza, he heard the sounds of a flute mingling with those of a violin, but those stopped once they smelled the -_

_"FOOD!" May screamed, and put her violin away quickly, while Sam took his time, relishing his lovely new instrument._

__  
_ _ After taking a sip of water, Sam puts the flute back under his lip, as natural as anything ever came to him. He adjusts his fingers on the metal finger "pads" and looks up to his music stand to his Celtic Music For Flute book in front of him.

Low and high notes flutter off the tip of Sam's tongue, each sound flowing smoothly, not unlike a waterfall. The atmosphere of the room transforms into that of a tranquil place, early morning or late evening, where only flowing water and peaceful flute can be heard.

But then the next song on the page transforms the peaceful space into a twisting, dark pit that feels like raw emotion. Its title, __I Left Him On The Mountainside_ _ and the next song, __Cold and Raw,_ _ give him chills and reminds him of their worst fight.

  
_The first thing that stopped was sex. Benny was a little angry at first, but mostly confused. Sex had become part of their normal, everyday lives, and it was something both of them enjoyed immensely – whenever the both of them were in the mood and had any spare time at all, they'd have their fun – pouncing on each other and making it as pleasurable as possible for the both of them._

_Meals became something that each would prepare for themselves. They stopped eating together altogether after they had stopped sleeping in the same bed...the same room._  
_Benny got the guest bed because he was smaller, and he missed having his cuddly, too-hot, "Come on, I just want to nuzzle you for a little bit longer" boyfriend wrap his arms around him._  
_Sam stayed in their bed, tossing and turning for the whole night without his cuddly teddy bear next to him._

_Despite them both sleeping poorly, they were both sitting on a lot of issues with each other, especially since they'd moved in together, and neither was willing to reconcile quite yet ._  
  
_Everything had built up to the point where Sam was considering staying with May, but he never did actually leave, hanging on to the hope that they could move past this, even though they had both neglected to talk to each other for close to two and a half months._

_They may have been sharing the same house, but at that point, they were strangers._

_Benny still knew Sam's work and rehearsal schedule, and knew that it hadn't changed, and he wanted to fix things when he had a weekend that corresponded with Sam's days off._

_They were both exhausted and running on empty._  
  
_Sam held grudges for longer, but Benny was quicker to get angry when something went wrong._

_Both wanted to fix things, but both were too damn stubborn to apologize to the other without even knowing half of the things they were being persecuted for. Each of them was nearly dead on the inside, sick with dread and generally despondent. It would've been a better couple of months had they just broken up, but neither of them were willing to give up, despite the fact that neither was willing quite yet to try fixing anything._

_Benny was the first to give in, but he felt strongly that if he didn't say something, Sam sure wouldn't, and then everything that they'd worked for over the years would be over._

_He left an invitation on the kitchen fridge, held up with Sam's favourite magnet—a trinity knot of braided cord._

_****Sam,** ** _  
_****They always did say: "A roadtrip makes the heart grow fonder".** ** _  
_****So come with me this weekend.** ** _  
_****I, or hopefully WE, will be taking the truck this weekend.** ** _  
_****Probably to the ocean or along the mountains.** ** _  
_****We can talk things out, fix them.** ** _  
_****Hopefully this roadtrip will make** ** ** **our** ** ****hearts grow fonder.** **_  
_****Love, Benny.** **_

_Sam had struggled to decide whether to go or not. He knew that he needed to, but he was holding a grudge. And even if he couldn't remember for the life of him what he was holding a grudge for , it was still enough to give him some pause._

_( His coworkers noticed that he was struggling with something, but nobody approached him before, and nobody approached him now. )_

_Benny's coworkers acknowledged that he was nervous about something, but they also noted that it was better than the dark gloom cloud that had been perpetually hovering over his head the past few months._

_Come the weekend, Sam was standing in the kitchen with a backpack, looking far smaller than anyone of his stature should ever look._

_Wordlessly, they clambered into the truck, Benny driving, pulling in to a small diner in the next town over for breakfast._  
  
_Sam gave a wan smile at the waitress who seated them, but it faded fast – not even lasting until she left with their orders._

_They picked at their food awkwardly._

_The perky waitress had asked how they were doing, but neither could actually look at her or give an answer more detailed than "Fine"._

_Once they were finished, they each paid for their own order and left a generous tip for their waitress._  
_Them being in a bad place with each other gave them no excuse for treating their server poorly._

_They drove onward until they reached a beach._

_The radio was off when they arrived because they had been fighting halfheartedly about what station to put it on, but they were drained, and those were the first words they've spoken to each other in months, and neither thought it was worth it to add another thing on their list of things they were fighting over, so they both reached out to turn it off, and brushed fingers._  
_Sam recoiled and Benny turned it off before focusing on the road ahead of them again._

_Sam applied sunblock and then chucked it at Benny._

_( Benny was super sensitive to the sun – so much that people teased him about being a vampire, and he was touched that Sam would be considerate enough to offer him sunblock. )_

_They sat on a piece of driftwood, watching the waves of the ocean crash and roll until they were hungry._

_They found the closest restaurant, ironically named **Benny's Bistro** , and had food fancier than they had eaten in months. _

_They kept driving._

_Eventually, there was a viewpoint at the halfway point of a mountain summit, so Benny pulled over and they sat down on a rock, close, but not touching._

_There was not a single person around them as they started to talk. It stayed that way as words dissolved themselves into screams._

_Grudgingly, they got back in the truck and Sam pressed himself against the window._

_Neither spoke as Benny drove them straight back to their city, only stopping to let Sam out when he said, devoid of all emotion, "Stop."_

_They spent the night in different houses, but Sam, red-eyed and bleary, was sitting dejectedly on a kitchen stool, staring at the table the next morning._

_"We need to talk." Sam's voice was still eerily monotonous._

_They still ended up screaming themselves hoarse at each other, but they ended up collapsing against each other and sobbing until they fell asleep, leaving the next morning for work after having a shared breakfast for the first time in months._

_It took over a year to get things to a place where they were happy with each other again and another four months to return to having sex, but they were both determined to get through this, and they were also sure that that was probably the worst fight, or avoidance war as Sam had coined it in his head, that they could possibly have._

_And at that time, it was. And they got through it, not without scars, but relatively whole._

_Their next fight that escalated this much was a nightmare for everyone involved and took two years with a relationship counsellor before they were on good terms again, but their rings stayed on their fingers through the entire ordeal._

 

Sam slides seamlessly into the next song after improvising a few transition measures. _Road To List_ _onvarna_ brings cheer back to the room, and it brings Benny back from mourning the many years that they lost from anger and invokes the compulsion to dance, so he gets up and dances along.

  
_It was suggested that they take a dance class together._

_Sam wasn't clumsy...or at least he hadn't thought he was. With all the impossibly small movements they were expected to execute, and in their case, they had to practice with both of them taking turns being the leader and follower, Sam was tripping over his own feet, and tripped Benny, too._

_It was agreed on that Benny would take the role as dominant dancer from there on, but as it turned out, even after two weeks and twenty hours of dance under their belts, Sam wasn't meant to dance._

_They were young and eager, but as they whispered together in the park before leaving each other for the night, they came to the agreement that when they got married, they would:_

  * _Absolutely, under no circumstances, have ballroom dancing_

  * _Absolutely, under no circumstances, have one of those cakes that is mostly decoration and only a small part is edible_

  * _Absolutely, under no circumstances, be the "bride"_

  * _Have handkerchiefs in their tuxedo pockets that the other had written a message on that they couldn't read until their honeymoon_

  * _Have one of those fancy, many course dinners for their reception_

  * _Have the garter throwing tradition be done by both of them_

  * _Absolutely, under no circumstances, let anyone film them when they dance together_




_They were young and naive, believing it was ****"Us against the world, baby"** ** for so long that they had forgotten anything else. _

 

Sam can't keep playing, and that's because he's laughing.

Benny's slightly affronted, but grins, waiting until Sam put down his flute before tugging Sam to his feet, spinning him around, having him duck under his arm when he was being spun.

Benny directs all of Sam's movements, ensuring that he can't trip anyone or over anything. With the help of Benny, Sam's been able to work up to being able to do most basic steps without unnecessary, precise movements.

  
_After they had agreed to work their problems out again, they returned to the relationship counsellor's office._

_After another year of this, they were getting along amicably, but to "Strengthen their bond" their counsellor recommended taking a ballroom dance class together._

_They laughed together genuinely for what seemed like the first time in forever._

_But they agreed to look into it anyways, and saw that it was being taught by the same teacher._

_They signed up._

_The teacher recognized them from all those years ago. What was it now? Twelve years ? Fourteen?_  
  
_His face blanched at the sight of Sam._  
_Benny thought he heard him mutter something like "What's the likes of him doing here? The bloody dolt," but he couldn't be completelysure._

_Benny stayed in lead the entire time, and it wasn't questioned._  
_Sam managed most of the general movements and ignored all the finicky technicalities._

_A loud sigh of relief could be heard from wherever you were in the room._

  
Collapsing in a fit of giggles, they stay like that for several minutes.

Benny pries himself off of Sam, and says that he should start dinner, but Sam stops him. "We could go out tonight."

They agree to stay here and play for a while longer and then go out to a restaurant.

Sam puts away his music book and pulls out an old, ratty folder.  
"This has all of the pieces I played while in school band."

Some pieces of paper were nearly torn from overuse.  
Some pieces of paper were written in blue ink, painstakingly copied out so that Sam could keep the music with him, no matter where he ended up in life.

  
_Nobody in Samuel Winchester's eighth grade band class ever would've guessed that Sam would carry on to high school band, let alone continue playing the flute into his adulthood._

_They all said "It's just a phase" and "You're not seriously playing the flute are you?" and made fun of him for his choices. _

_But for all they made fun of him, Sam was easily the very best musician in the entire school, no matter whether you were talking about middle or high school ._

_For high school festivals, you had to audition for your place on the trip, and Sam was nearly guaranteed a spot on each of these._

_In his senior year of high school, he went on four separate band trips._

_One was for only the very best of the school. It had intense auditioning processes, and Sam was the only one from their school that got through to the actual competition. [There was going to be one other who joined him, but he didn't pass the drug tests.]_

_There were preliminary rounds where each of the musicians who made it through to the advanced rounds were assigned mentors who helped them choose which pieces they should play and suggest how to play it better._

_Sam wasn't anything special anymore. Everybody who had made it this far gave the same amount of dedication to their loves as he did, and it showed—the raw talent in every single being was astounding. Sam was in awe that he had been able to make it as far as he had with these folks._

_He played a cover of Sweet Child O' Mine. He managed to procure a video clip of him playing it and sent it to his brother, Dean._

_He congratulated him for being so awesome, and did so again with Sam's boyfriend (at the time and in the future) , Benny, when Sam's name was on the list of people who were continuing to the semifinals ._

_By this point, Sam had discovered that this competition was a ****huge** ** deal to a lot of people. Each of the semifinalists were interviewed and they were televised. _

_Dean and Benny cheered him on from home once they'd found out that the event was televised._

_Sam was extremely nervous. He was the only flute player left, and one of the very few who could not play a secondary instrument – unless you counted being able to sound out, very slowly, tuning and simple songs like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on the piano. [Sam could also play an altered version of Twinkle Twinkle called Twink le , Twink, Kiss My Arse in which Benny sang the lyrics they made up together and Dean laughed at them both for being ridiculous.]_

_For the round he was going into, everybody had to play the exact same piece, altered so that it was playable on their instrument._

_The whole adjudication day was filled with classical music._

_Sam barely made it to the finals. He felt that the other three were far superior to him, but he also knew that he'd worked hard to get where he was that day and that he wouldn't stop practising._

_Dean and Benny called to wish him good luck._

_It was clear that they were nervous too. Their brother and lover had just been announced as the fourth, or maybe one of the four, best musician s under the age of 18 in the United States of America._

_They got free choice of one of their three final pieces._

_Sam's final three pieces were: Poulenc's flute sonata, a cover of Carry On Wayward Son, and Pachelbel's Canon in D, which all four finalists would be performing together._

_Poulenc's flute sonata was a terrific song for him to play, according to his mentor, but Sam knew that the other players were better at their sonatas. His mentor also approved of how, even on a flute, he managed to capture the essence of Carry On._

_Pachelbel's Canon in D was a live event. The music hall they were in was filled with spectators, cameras filming everything that happened._

_It was a spectacular performance that concluded the three week competition brilliantly._

_Sam stayed in fourth position on the ranking boards, but, like the others, had universities come up to him to offer him scholarships on the condition that he play for their orchestra._

_So he gathered up all their offers, and went home to Dean and Benny with a grin on his face._

_He compared which scholarships offered him the best opportunities and when he found out that a university just across the city from where Benny was going to and where Dean had just graduated a basic college education from, Sam jumped on that wagon, barely believing that in just over nine months, he was going to have a full scholarship to a university close to the people he loved._

  
_Of course he fought with the people he loved, it's just something that happens , but all in all, Sam was happy and got to be quite well known as "Flute-Boy" around campus, becoming ****the** ** one to go to if you needed help with anything to do with a flute. _

_In his last year there, he took on an "apprentice" to prepare them for replacing him in the university's orchestra._

_Sam studied to become a librarian or a teacher, but was also required to take music theory courses._

_He became a Flute and Theory Teacher at the University he studied at._

  
When they grow hungry, Sam packs his flute away, and puts his music back in the shelves.

Benny clasps Sam's hand in his and they walk from their house to the city, bickering about where they should go.

They end up walking into a restaurant fancy enough that you have to wait to be seated and get asked drinks and appetizers before getting the Main Course menu, but still laid back enough that there's no dress code.

Each ends up sharing with the other. Poking each other in the lips with zucchini sticks until they eat what's at their mouths, stealing sips from the other's drink, trying to rile the other up by sensually eating cheesy breadsticks, and sneaking soft, chaste kisses between bites.

Their meal arrives, and they chat idly about things that have happened and what they're up to lately.

_The first time Sam ever went to a fancy restaurant, it was Dean's idea. Sam had just graduated from high school the day before, and he wanted to do something special for him._

_Dean arranged it a month ahead of time, because he wanted everybody there._  
_Bobby, Benny's parents, John, Ellen and Jo._

_It was actually Sam's first time meeting Benny's parents, as they were usually out of town on business._  
_It was also Benny's first time meeting John because he was almost never at their house, and Dean went to a lot of trouble to track John down and manage to get him to promise "Fine. I'll be there."_

_Dean made Sam get dressed in the suit he wore at the grad party, and Benny stole his tie._

_Benny tried to hold it above his head, but quickly realized his mistake and crouched down, waiting until Sam got onto his knees to actually let Sam put the tie on._

_It was like a typical family reunion—nobody had seen everyone in a long time, and the people that hadn't met anyone other than their own child/ren awkwardly sat around when others told stories that you had to have known them beforehand to understand._

_In the end, Benny's parents approved of Sam, John "left" early [he got too drun k and rowdy and was kicked out], Dean sneaked a glass of wine to Sam , and had it not been for the fact that they were there [mostly] to celebrate Sam graduating early, they would have totally gotten away with it._

_Their server gave them dirty looks when he passed by, but ultimately left them alone because it was only one glass of wine and Sam wasn't disturbing anyone._

 

Their server asks if they want dessert, pointing to the little card that had seven choices for dessert—Tiramisu, Lemon Meringue Pie, Apple Pie, Chocolate Mousse Cake, Fudge Brownie Pie, Cheesecake, and creme brulee.

Sam says "One of each please," much to Benny's surprise.

Sam knows that Benny likes dessert best, and Benny knows that Sam likes being able to share them with him, but also doesn't want Benny to have to spend time making desserts at home when he does that at work. [Of course, Sam also knows that Benny loves being able to bring home leftovers and fully enjoys making a nice southern style dinner...with a side salad for Sam.]

 

_Benny invited Sam over to his house for a weekend, and much to Sam's surprise, they spent the majority of the weekend baking. There was one prepared salad for Sam, but otherwise, all food consumed was sugary goodness that they had baked themselves._

_Sam protested at first, saying that it was unhealthy and they'd get diabetes or cavities, but gave in and they had a lot of fun._

_Brownies, lemon bars, various pies that Benny said he could take home half of for Dean, cookies, fudge, and other sweet creations from Benny's own collection of his own recip es were pulled from the oven._

_If they both came out the other side of the weekend feeling like pinatas, well...they had a good time._

_And it was just the push Benny needed to become a pastry chef once he'd finished at university._

 

They feed each other a fork of the desserts until they come to the agreement that they should take the pie pieces home for later.

 

_The people watching them thought they were sickeningly sweet. Who actually did the feeding thing with the fork once they were no longer teenagers or on their honeymoon?_  
_These men were at least well into their forties._

 

Benny slides his hand into Sam's once they're outside the restaurant.

They walk slowly along the sidewalk, murmuring to themselves. Sam leads them to the pier and they sit down on a bench in front of the ocean, snuggling.

The waves that lap up against the shoreline remind Benny of a piece that Sam used to play all the time, but the name had been completely blacked out.

 

_Benny was making macaroni and cheese, but his boyfriend was playing his flute in his living room. He listened attentively for any sounds that drifted out._

_Sam had recently finished the semester and still had a month before he had to go back. He was working more shifts at the library , but had more spare time that he usually used to hang around at Benny's place._

_Soft sounds emanated from his living room, flowing into stronger sounds like those of waves, crashing into the shoreline._

_An irregular pattern of these sounds, pencil scritches, and eraser rubbing continued for long after the pasta was ready, but Benny didn't interrupt Sam's process until he was sure that he was just staring at whatever was in front of him._

_Benny carried in two bowls of macaroni and cheese, plopped them down on the dining room table, and went back for the salad that Sam was so adamant that he eat._  
  
_He went in to the living room and poked Sam in the side. "Dinner time, sugar."_

_Benny looked at what was in front of him._

_Pencil, eraser, flute...and paper that had notes written on it...sheet music...that Sam was writing._

_Sam unfolded himself from the couch and kissed Benny's cheek before lumbering into the dining room._

_Benny noted that his piece had no title._

  
_Many years from that point, Sam would name it ****Benjamin** ** . Of course, that came after many more changes to the song – rocky shores and storms at sea to calm waters, undisturbed. _

_(Originally, Sam was thinking of naming it “Love”, but he'd gotten back together with Benny, and they'd stayed together this time for a while, and they agreed to stay together and make it work . This time... it was love. And Sam knew that this was it for him. Benny was his endgame. Love was equated with Benny, and Sam would have it no other way.)_

_After Sam named his piece Benjamin, he thought about playing it for him, but he was accepted into the Purgatorium Symphony Orchestra, and didn't have much time to practice his own piece until each ten month season was over until it started up again._

_Sam still hadn't shown Benny several years after he'd gotten accepted into the orchestra, but they were fighting quite often, so he didn't want to play it ****for** ** him just yet, even if he practised it quite often._  
  
_He crossed out the title until you could no longer tell from any angle that its title was once "Benjamin"._

_Many years after that, they were going through his music collection when Benny found that sheet of paper. Pencil notes gone over with black ink, not erased – the title completely blacked out._

_Benny started humming it, all of the notes off-key, but relative to each other based on their positions on the staff. He got the rhythm right._

_Sam's head whipped up to look at him. He'd never forget that tune._

_Benny finished, added a little flourish at the end that completely clashed with the piece's atmosphere , and asked, "This your ocean song?"_

_Sam just looked at him like he was an alien. His face blanked and h is voice was extremely low when he said "Benjamin," in reply._

_Benny dropped the subject and handed the sheet to Sam, who put it in a plastic sleeve, which went into the bottom of a storage box._

_Benny never heard Sam play that song again._

 

 


	2. From Here On Out (It Was Us Until The End...and maybe into the beyond)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if there are any mistakes, I look over everything myself, but I'm bound to miss something. Feel free to let me know if you notice any.

They continue onwards, strolling along the edge of the beach, where the sand peters out onto the pavement.

By the time they reach their house, the sun has set and they laugh at each other's halfhearted jokes, leaning into each other and yearning to kiss and hold and touch.

They walk through the door, lock it, and put the pie slices in the fridge.

Benny slides Sam's jacket off of his arms and drops it on the floor, Sam tutting at him for the carelessness of the gesture. But he does the same with Benny's jacket. He steals his hat, twirls it around on his finger, and plops it on top of his own head, slyly grinning at him from underneath the brim.

Stealing a kiss, Benny takes the hat off of Sam's head and tries to throw it onto the top of the coat rack. He misses, and Sam laughs at him, but ultimately, they leave the hat on the floor and hold each other closely as they make their way into their bedroom.

Shedding the rest of their outer clothing, they brush their teeth in their boxers.

They make their way back into their room. Sam stretches upwards, and Benny watches his body move. The planes of where muscle used to bulge out have softened and smoothed out over the years, but you can still tell that Sam takes very good care of himself and is very strong. Despite Sam's muscles not being prominent anymore, Benny loves to watch as they ripple just a little bit underneath his skin as his shoulders roll upwards and back. He watches Sam's back, loving the way it looks as it bends back, arms and hands clasped above his head, meeting Sam's eyes once he bends far enough to look at Benny behind him.

  


_Sam was **flexible**._

_Benny had only just discovered this after Sam had had to get into an interesting position to retrieve an envelope from behind something, and truly intended to find out just how flexible Sam was. When he asked Sam about it, he suggested that he come with him to one of his yoga classes or to his gym class, where they were doing some “Sort of a gymnastic type stuff with a lot of bending, and for those who could support themselves, like me, strength,” was how Sam described it, intentionally being vague._

_He never mentioned that for his physical education credit, he was taking a pole dancing class as well as a yoga class._

_Benny had gone with Sam, and the look on his face when Sam came out of the changing room in itty-bitty booty shorts... and nothing else – was priceless._

_As it turned out, Sam was the star student of the class – physically appealing, strong enough to perform just about every movement, and flexible enough that his teacher had asked, once, if he'd ever been a gymnast._

_Through most of the class, Sam kept his eyes level with Benny's – clearly putting on a show for him._

_It made Benny kind of regret the whole “We should get married before we have sex” thing, but they'd already made a pact on that, and Benny didn't know yet that Sam was demisexual to grey-asexual. He watched as Sam's body moved fluidly around the pole, holding his gaze as he held each position in between the flying movements that propelled him around the pole._

_Benny admired the way Sam's muscles flexed and moved underneath the layer of sweat that both coated and dripped down his body. He watched closely when Sam's legs splayed open and bent themselves into a pike position while he was still moving around the pole._

_By the end of the hour,_ everybody _was dripping with sweat and panting – most sitting down, leaning against their pole. Benny, who'd only watched with fascination, was the only exception... Until Sam got up to give him a huge hug that dampened his clothing and raised the temperature significantly._

_They walked home together, but Sam had to get a shower and change before running off to an impromptu seminar for all new musicians at the university, so Benny never got the chance to ask about sex...and he wouldn't for a long time after that._

  


  


_Benny had dragged Sam to his graduation party, and after a lot of “Hey, nice to see you”s and beer, Benny lost track of where Sam was and was catching up with his friends._

_At some point, Benny and his friends went outside to find a limbo game...and was that Sam?!?_

_Sam was laughing jovially, and despite him being the tallest person playing limbo, he was in, what seemed to be, the final few rounds of the game._

_Benny gazed at Sam, watching how his legs were bent and how he didn't falter, even though his back was parallel to the ground and there is no way that anybody can have a center of gravity that low and bend that far back._

_Sam caught his gaze as he was going through and gave his a little wave before making it under the bar, but just barely._

_The shorter girl won, just two rounds later, but in Sam's defense, the bar had been lowered to the point where even the part of his legs that were below his knees wouldn't be able to get under._

_That night, Sam and Benny got back together again, romantically, briefly, and made out on the couch before passing out._

  


  


Benny waggles his eyebrows, and Sam tries to match his movements with his chest, but nearly falls. Benny puts his hand under Sam's back and brings him back up and brings their lips together.

He puts his hands on Sam's hips and Sam gives a little wiggle which shifts them up to his waist. Sam's hands slide over Benny's shoulders and down his back. Benny's arms grip him closer and his hands are on Sam's back.

  


“ _ **Sam's back is wonderful”,** Benny thought._

_Benny watched as the muscles move d underneath his shirt and as his arms raised and as he shed his shirt._

_Soccer practice. That was what Sam had said he'd be coming to watch, since the game that they were originally going to have that day w as cancelled. However, nobody mentioned that after the practice, the student council would be holding a “Fashion Show” to support the fine arts department. All who attended the practice happily paid five dollars and moved to the gym to watch._

_All of the soccer boys were roped into dressing up in whatever the council had prepared for them, after a shower of course._

_At the end, all of the boys walked back down and stripped their shirts off._

_Benny acknowledged that there were many attractive people on the university's soccer team, but Sam and he were together again at that point, so he mostly only had eyes for him._

_Most of the boys had highly muscled frames as well, but Sam was special to him, so the privilege of being able to see the naked flesh of Sam's ripple with the muscles he'd worked so hard to attain and maintain._

_If you asked Benny, his favourite part of Sam's back was definitely the dips. The dip along his spine that led to the dip of his back before his butt. The dimples on each side of his spine that looked as if they would be just the perfect size for Benny's thumbs to slot themselves in._

  


Benny puts his fingers in the dip of Sam's back where there used to be dimples on each side of his spine.

They nuzzle each other's noses and move a hand to the other's hair.

While Sam just strokes Benny's hair, mostly leaving his hand in the same spot, Benny has full run of Sam's hair. It's still long, and it's grown to the point where it falls down his back and reaches his collarbone. Benny runs his hand through, tangling and untangling the silky brown strands.

Sam moans a little when Benny pulls at the strands, but lust turns to bliss when he starts to massage his scalp a little.

Benny looks entirely too smug that Sam is falling apart in his hands – positively **_purring_ ** at his ministrations.

They eventually start to rub up against each other before they tumble to the bed, just as they did after their wedding.

  


“ _I do.”_

“ _I do.”_

_It had taken a long time, and many times of on again and off again, but they had made it. They were married now._

_Sam only had one year left on his masters and Benny had recently been promoted to the Head Baker at the bakery._

_(Of course, they would still have their problems and fight, but they loved each other, and, in the end, that's all that matters.)_

“ _You may now kiss your husband.”_

_They locked their lips together while pressing their bodies together. They only separated once they needed air, but once they did, they slid apart, just their hands clasped as was traditional for the ceremony._

_Everyone stuck around the rose garden for a while longer, but eventually left for the reception dinner._

_Wonderful food was served and everybody had a great time and just a little bit too much wine._

_Lavish decorations were placed around the dance floor. Benny and Sam had their first dance as husbands, dressed in fancy tuxedos, holding each other closely as they staggered around, Sam doing his very best, Benny leading him around._

_(Their wedding wasn't quite as they had planned when they were younger, but they had it just the way they wanted it to be in that moment, and that was all that mattered to them. They were happy and in love.)_

 

_As everybody congratulated them and left to their own homes, Sam and Benny left for their honeymoon._

_It had to be only three and a half days because Sam was starting school again in f our days, having to prepare his outline for the one class he was teaching, but they still wanted to take their sailing trip right after their wedding ._

_They boarded the boat, greeted by the captain, captain's assistant, and two other helpers. They put on lifejackets and sat down on the deck; watched as the sunset darkened as they pulled into a new marina._

_The crew suggested that they go down to their room, eyeing the empty bottle between them, and helped them down there._

_Once the crew had left them, Sam grabbed Benny and clutched him to his chest until Benny leaned up to kiss Sam. Sweet, gentl e kisses turn ed to heated, rough kisses._

_They stayed like that for a long time, making out against a wall until they stumbled two feet over and tumbled onto the bed, Sam's elbow catching Benny's side before he just pushed himself right up against him and nuzzled his face into Benny's neck, drifting off while emulating an octopus – clinging onto Benny, sprawled across his body ._

_Benny lay awake, listening to the sounds of the lapping ocean and Sam's breathing, for almost an hour before finally falling asleep himself._

_They set off again early morning, but Sam and Benny didn't get out of bed until nearly noon._

_(They discussed when they should move in with each other in hushed tones, Benny running his fingers through Sam's hair. They agreed to find a house together as soon as Sam wasn't being housed on campus anymore... also once he had a secure job as well.)_

_Breakfast was brought to them – bacon and eggs with a fruit smoothie, which they fed to each other while they watched the water outside their window and the tiny fish that sometimes swam by._

_Once the boat was tied up to a dock, the captain let them know that they'd arrived on the island._

_They all left the boat and explored the island after slathering on sunscreen... and having a ring toss involving sunhats and the heads that **might** be wearing them. Although they did put on the hats at some point. _

_Sam and Benny had their hands clasped together as they walked along the rocky beach. Each held a basket in their other hand. A picnic dinner of sandwiches and dessert and blankets, towels, and bathing suits._

_They placed their baskets on the rocks and took out their suits, changing into them without worrying that anybody was watching them._

_(Nobody was watching them. The crew had gone to a friend's cabin farther away and, other than them, Sam and Benny were on their own.)_

_Once their suits were on, Sam ran straight into the water, making huge splashes as he went along, getting Benny wet as he followed at a slower pace behind him._

_The ocean was surprisingly nice. No sharp shells were cutting their feet and it was mostly just some fine sand with flat rocks making up the majority, some small pebbles rolling underneath their feet as they walked along the shallow, flat bottom – eventually deepening to the point where Sam's hips were covered by the lapping tide._

_Sam's smile was blinding as he motioned for Benny to follow him in, where the ocean easily reached his waist. He picked Benny up and twirled around a little before teasing him by lifting and dipping him as if he were going to throw him back in._

_Benny slid his hands past Sam's shoulders, down his back, and grabbed his butt._

_Sam squeaked and dropped his hold on Benny, but Benny held on and started kissing him while massaging Sam's bottom._

“ _Are you ready, or...?” Benny asked, whispering huskily into Sam's ear. Sam hadn't removed Benny from his body or said “No” yet, so Benny was really hoping that they'd have a chance at starting a sexual relationship now that they were married._

_Sam shifted around a little, moving one arm under Benny's butt and the other around the small of his back , holding hi m up as he wrapped his legs around Sam. Benny's hand on Sam's bicep brought him back to the question at hand._

“ _You know that we agreed our relationship was not going to be one that depended on sex. I know I said that one day I'd probably be ready and able to have sex with you, but today is not that day.” Sam tilted his head a little, pecking the side of Benny's nose. “Tomorrow probably isn't that day either. I'll let you know if the day comes.” His brow furrowed. “I mean, if you really want, I could probably, uh, jerk you off.”_

_Benny declined, knowing that it would be uncomfortable for Sam, and he was perfectly capable of doing it himself._

_(But when they did – OH how they loved it. Benny pinned underneath Sam, being licked all over and into and then rubbing their bodies together, arching against each other in bliss. That was about a year and a half later.)_

_They swam around and played in the ocean for about an hour longer before coming out and towelling off, changing into their clothes once the sun had dried them off._

_They ate their sandwiches and dessert, chatting idly._

_Once the sun had set, they were led by the cook to the cabin, that was really more like a private mansion, meeting the owner there._

_Sam was presented with his old flute, but it didn't have any of the dents anymore._

_(It also didn't have the B-foot, which became Sam' s favourite note to play, the novelty of being able to go below the middle C, even just one note, on the flute never fully wore off for him.)_

_His grin lit up the room._

_There was a piano book next to a baby grand, and it was decided that Sam could play the treble line for them while the owner played the piano – both to the beat of the metronome._

_Everybody had a grand time – dancing around to the music until they were ready to sleep._

_Sam put his old flute back in its case with a fond gaze and followed Benny into the room they'd be sleeping in._

_Again, they kissed a lot and tumbled to the bed and continued to make out, but Benny knew that Sam wasn't ready to have sex, so they just cuddled until they fell asleep – Sam keeping his octopus status, continuing to sprawl all over Benny, clinging on with no chance of removal ... which Benny would soon realize that it would happen every time they slept together._

_They woke up to the sunrise and set sail once again soon after, leaving for the final time to return to their city._

_They thanked their crew and let Dean take their stuff back to Benny's [parents'] house and Sam's university studio apartment._

_Sam and Benny stayed near the marina, walking along the beach until they had to go prepare for the next day at either work or school._

They sat down, watching the rocky shore as the tide crashed onto the beach before receding, gradually coming in. In the distance, a trio composed of a flutist, a pianist, and a violinist were playing, and the music drifted over to their ears, quiet and undisturbed by the bustle where the trio was playing.  
  


_Silver rings adorned their ring fingers, (they didn't have a care in the world – just revelling in each other's company with their hands clasped together) engraved with one word:_

“ _Forever”_

  


  


  


And even through the choppy waters that slammed them up against rocky shores, both their love for each other and the high, soaring sound of the flute helped guide them through every difficulty.

When they said forever at the altar, they meant it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! :)
> 
> I do not know alcohol - underage. I have no idea what, or how much, wine is okay or whatever.  
> I have only ever been on a two person sailboat [I was working the jib :)] and a house-sailboat, but this was many years ago. I imagine that the one Sam and Benny were on was bigger than that.
> 
> This is the final actual chapter, but there's a little tiny piece in the next to read too :)


	3. It's The End (and while they're not necessarily Afraid to die, they're not going to for another forty years or so)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little tiny drabbles that are totally part of this story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to apologize for the chapter title, but definitely kind of taken from Black Veil Bride's In The End.

“Hey Benny,” Sam starts, “Think I should get a bass flute?”

Benny laughs, saying “You already have the piccolo, two regular flutes now, and the alto.”

“...Some of my students are starting on it too, so I need to be able to guide them by myself?”

Sam's face was adorable. Benny smiled.

“Whatever you want, sugar. Whatever you want.”

Sam gets the bass flute.

He's totally awesome at it.

And so are the students that picked it up, too.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Benny still bothers Sam about the song with the blacked out name sometimes, but ultimately, it doesn't matter because Sam's willing to play anything else that Benny wants him to play, with any of the instruments that he owns.

By now, he's picked up the following [in this order]:

  1. C Flute [his first one - dented and then fixed and returned on honeymoon]
  2. Piccolo
  3. C Flute [with a B-foot]
  4. Alto
  5. Ocarina [Technically belongs to the Music Department, but was also technically gifted to him for doing a rewrite of a Legend of Zelda song for all types of flute in the department and besides the department has another one. They almost never use it and once Sam retires, they're going to ask for it back.]
  6. Alto [Also technically belongs to the Music Department, but, again, they'll ask for it back once Sam retires.]
  7. Bass Flute [does  _not_ belong to the Music Department, but has helped tremendously in furthering the Bass Flute players that had only just started.]



 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Even though the grey in Sam's hair is overpowering the brown, he still curls himself around, sprawls himself on, and continually amazes Benny with how much he resembles an octopus at night... or even when they're cuddling.

Benny even decides to try that out as a nickname one time. Instead of "Kitten", "Sweetheart", or "Sugar", Benny says:

"Hey, Octopus"

They're alone, so Sam looks up at the sound of Benny's voice, but it doesn't register for a few moments what he's actually said.

Once it fully registers that Benny had just called him an _octopus,_  he looks down and flushes scarlet.

"Hey... hey! Sam?" Benny tilts Sam's head up so they make eye contact. "It's alright. I like being smothered by you." Sam cringes at Benny's choice of words. "It's sweet, you always wrapping yourself around me...kinda adorable. Besides, haven't gone a night together without it. It's endearing."

Benny sits down on the couch next to Sam and smiles until Sam does, too.

They share a kiss before Sam has to go back to grading his students' theory work, humming out tunes and Benny goes to the kitchen, trying to whistle along.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

"I love you."

"I love you."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it :)


End file.
